Relaionship

"Instead of judging, start accepting yourself with all the imperfections,
all the frailties, all the mistakes, all the failures. Don't ask yourself
to be perfect. That is simply asking something impossible, and then you are
feeling frustrated. You are a human being." quoted by Osho, 1931-1990
Indian Spiritual Teacher

Read it till the end. This would change your perception about relations and
brighten your day for sure.!!!

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is
broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to
suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may
result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she
received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was
silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going
to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry,
I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it
is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if
the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

NO POINTING FINGERS:
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised
you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her
shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that
because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better
husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of
losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around
to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We
should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other
four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others
will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS :
A person visited the government matchmaker
for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me
to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please."
"Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing
and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my
leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I
need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The
officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind
wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of
the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many
couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual
perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off,
they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The
nightmare begins.

NO OVERPOWERING :
Many relationships fail because one party tries to
overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that
love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after
marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which
carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river
than a person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high
expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and
unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our
expectations.

RIGHT SPEECH:
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A
speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off
because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we
always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without
considering if it would hurt the other party. A friend and her millionaire
husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her
and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary
school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you
married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She
answered," You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will
be the millionaire and not you." Frequently exchanging these remarks plants
the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be
reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION:
Different people have different perception. One man's
meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the
market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of
them rides on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride
on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and
commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the
donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got
down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they
met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but
let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the
wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented,
"Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel
to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from
the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only
choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and
struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never
have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the
past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too
bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

BE PATIENT :
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came
out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his
three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the
truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's
hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his
son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the
crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's
hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he
innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but
when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed
suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or you wish
to take revenge. Think first before you lose your patience with someone
you love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often
can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and
the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People
make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take
while in a rage will haunt us forever.

"Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One".

I love walking in the rain because no one knows I'm crying.

 

Towards the end of the story in the Bollywood film Chak De! India when the hockey team returns triumphant, ready to relish all the attention, coach Kabir Khan is conspicuous by his absence. He prefers instead to go reclaim a home he had left in disgrace many years earlier. Why does Kabir not wish to bask in his moment of glory, after erasing the stigma that he carried for years?

It took him seven years - after a failure saw him shunned, ostracised and branded a traitor - to gather the strength to redeem himself. Taking up an unlikely challenge, he met with cynicism and indifference. He met further resistance from the very individuals he tried to shape into a team. His past record, integrity and judgment were all questioned. Even the players who seemingly believed in him succumbed to peer pressure; he saw the team apparently united for only one goal, that of ousting him. Confronted with this, yet refusing to do things differently, he all but walked out. At many points, the opposing teams were the least of his challenges.

All through this, Kabir did not question his fundamentals or his approach; neither did he become vicious in his responses. Whether officials or players applauded or smirked, he stood his ground. He was no longer concerned about disdain, once he believed in what he was doing. And he was equally unconcerned about gathering adulation after having proved himself. He had, simply put, outgrown the need for both.

Rudyard Kipling wrote of treating triumph and disaster just the same, but that is easier said than done. The moments that test our reactions are when the anchors that hold our sense of selfworth are forced loose. These are moments when we can only look within to know that we are right, while few seem to agree and most are indifferent. Those moments tell us whether our consciousness has grown in strength, or whether the absence of support breaks us.

The strength to know no one in whose eyes he could find understanding, and yet go his way without wavering, is the strength that Kabir Khan displayed. It is the strength we need if we are to live without being at the mercy of world opinion. That strength comes from within, from understanding our real nature.

Rejection and failure can spur us to know ourselves, to go beyond the world's parameters of praise and criticism. Kabir was unfairly made to bear a cross for seven years. It could happen to any one of us. One of the unfair verdicts ever was given to the man who was literally nailed to a cross. But He faced crucifixion with courage, and He was the one who had the strength to get resurrected. If we know and believe in ourselves even when the rest find it convenient to crucify us, we would have the strength to resurrect ourselves, too.

I thought that you'd be loving me.
I thought you were the one who'd stay forever.
But now forever's come and gone
And I'm still here alone.

'Cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you who made the tears fall down.
It was you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.

Oh, I never should have trusted you.
I thought that I'd be all you need.
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven.
And now my heaven's gone away
And I'm out in the cold.

'Cause you had me believing,
You had me believing in a lie.
Guess I couldn't see it,
I guess I couldn't see it till I saw goodbye.

'Cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.
It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you.

It was you who put those clouds around me.
It was you who made those tears fall down.
Only you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.

Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

Women

A Frenchwomen,when doublecrossed,will kill her rival;the Italian women will rather kill her deceitful lover;the Englishwoman simply breaksoff realtion and a Indian will weep & sob-but they all will console themselves with another man.

jab kisi bewafa ka naam liya apne dil hi se intqam liya,

tujhse achha hai tera gham aye dost, jisne is zindgi ko thham liya,

aql ko hamse ye shikayat hai, hamne aksar junoon se kaam liya,

poochhiye mat ke dil pe kya gujre, jab kisi ne tera naam liya,

jab kisi bewafa ka naam liya apne dil hi se intqam liya............

By My Best Friend
Jai

My World Is Blue

Blue, blue, my world is blue
Blue is my world now I'm without you
Gray, gray, my life is gray
Cold is my heart since you went away

Red, red, my eyes are red
Crying for you alone in my bed
Green, green, my jealous heart
I doubted you and now we're apart

When we met how the bright sun shone
Then love died, now the rainbow is gone

Black, black, the nights I've known
Longing for you so lost and alone